Advance Care Planning: Get it Done!
Some things should not be left unsaid. When it comes to decisions about end-of-life care, talking matters most. Without conversation beforehand, there can be added confusion, conflict, and guilt in a situation that’s already charged. Here are some suggestions to ensure that your wishes will be honored when most needed.
Ideally, you make such plans the same way you make other important decisions, involving the people who are close to you. If some in your circle don’t agree with part of your plan, it is especially important that they know what you have decided, and who the plan’s implementers will be when the time comes (medical power of attorney, financial proxy, etc.). No one close to you should be sidelined during a difficult time. Give your loved ones notice that you want to talk. Don’t let anyone brush it away. Start with something simple, “Nothing urgent, but when you have a few minutes, I need to talk with you about some things I am working on, to plan for the future.” Let people know it matters to you and will take a little time.
Explain to them that advance care planning allows you to decide what care you want to receive should you become unable to speak for yourself. Your instructions will eliminate uncertainty for your doctors and family members. More than a set of legal documents, it is a process and an ongoing plan that incorporates your medical conditions, healthcare goals, and wishes for care. Such directives may be adjusted throughout the course of a lifetime, and include a living will, medical power of attorney and/or financial power of attorney. You should review your plan every few years, to make sure it still matches your circumstances.
When developing your plan, it is important to identify someone who can and will speak on your behalf should you be unable to speak for yourself. Consider some key points when selecting your decision-maker. This person needs to make decisions as close as possible to those you would make, and make these decisions when emotions are high. It’s not a matter of who you love most. Choose someone who “gets it,” who can think clearly under pressure, and who is likely to outlive you – to put it bluntly. Give a copy of your plan to your decision-maker, other important members of your family, and your physician. Have it entered into your hospital record. Do not hide it, or it may not help when you really need it. An advance care plan can be seen as a gift that you leave to your family. Don’t wait; you deserve to be heard when it matters most.
In partnership with Hospice & Community Care